your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra