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lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
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