just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies