worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME