so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
