I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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