Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
