We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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