So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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