Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
