You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
50% drunk capacity currently
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize