Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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