are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
