I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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