Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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