I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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