a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize