Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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