Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?