So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?