1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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