I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
