I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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