So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.