there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
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I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
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I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.