Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books