why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
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I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.