You just made me feel so damn special
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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