I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize