just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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