It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba