people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.