for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.