My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.