One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Everclear isn't food dammit