I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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