I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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