So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
