We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
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No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I want her autograph on my taint
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
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Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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