and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
