woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?