You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
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Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
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Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.