That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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