I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
