It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i will never coherently bang her
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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