Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
