well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
