I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer