I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!