I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
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by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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