all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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