I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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