he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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