ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Come see our sink grown plant.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
