Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
