my phone needs a breathalizer
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize