Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize