I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.