thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.