I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
