Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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