With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
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Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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