i jhust puked up my retainher.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
