First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
