when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
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