I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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